Tess Koman's Best Damn Answers to Life's Hardest Questions

We are so excited to announce that we have a very special guest writer on this week's blog post, Tess Koman!

She's the distinguished author of The Best Damn Answers to Life's Hardest Questions (which has really made my life decisions so much easier to make T B H).

We had our Instagram followers ask Tess their Hardest Questions and Tess gave her Best Damn Answers which made me laugh so hard I snorted. Sorry co-workers. 

Check them out below and make sure to pick up a copy of The Best Damn Answers to Life's Hardest Questions ASAP. (Pssst, it makes a perfect holiday gift, wink wink, nudge nudge)

Q: What is life? @mariam_owaida

A: Life is a series of very stressful-yet-‘grammable moments strung together until we die, TBQH.

Q: Do I REALLY need to separate my darks and my lights when I do laundry? @staceymgall

A: Literally nah. You’re good.

Q: How do I keep my plants alive? @devdom

A: Funny you ask, I wrote a book that answers that exact question, bro!

Q: Can dogs be considered your baby? @rileyschindler

A: Like, it’s a little weird if they’re not??

Q: Should I buy that shirt, even though I have one that is kinda similar? @andrea.arroe

A: Did you really just ask me if you should buy another wine-adjacent shirt? The answer is yes, dude, you absolutely should.

Q: Am I a bad person if I put food network on the TV in the public gym while I’m running? @ofmouseandmutts

A: A little bit, but I fucking love you and let’s hang out?

Q: Will my cat ever stop being evil? @odellian

A: No, cats are always evil. No one should ever have cats and everyone should always have dogs. Bye.

Q: Why isn’t the salted caramel mocha Frappuccino offered YEAR ROUND? @nessie_horan

A: Omg idk, @STARBUCKS, WHAT SAY YOU??

Q: What can you do to save yourself from being hurt by the people you care about the most? @chloeycontessa

A: You can’t, really. Youcan work through hurt. One day, it’ll be that hurt that propelled you forward. So cheesy, but so true. <3

Q: Should we get matching tattoos? @abycarcamo

A: Lol nope.

Q: Do I like him or am I just bored? @babygotslack

A: Oh, love. DM me

Q: I’m currently an Accounting Major at the University of Buffalo, Tess, how can I do what you do? @luvlahwung

A: DM me, we’ll chat!

Q: How can I improve on myself other than just practicing what I would like to improve on? @sondos.elbershawi

A: You can read things written by people very different than you and listen to what they have to say. Otherwise, you can incorporate cheese into every meal. That might help.

Q: Why is it so hard to save money? @susancaroline

A: Because life is boring without food and wine and accessories that are cute enough to be Instagrammed.

Q: Why does my husband love to watch cooking shows and then say he’s full, yet they just make me so damn hungry? @mary.b.hop

A: Because men are the worst, dude.

Q: Does toothpaste or water go on the brush first? @iamchryswinchell

A: I’ve thought about it a lot, and I’d say people who don’t put toothpaste on first are troubled.

Q: Can you wear black with navy? @kellykaylan84

A: Wait, I was literally just wondering the same.

Q: What do my cats do at night? Because it sounds like they’re moving furniture… @mojoandkarma

A: Probably you have a ghost problem, but get rid of your cats to be safe.

Q: Should I get bangs? @awesomelauren

A: Girl. Read my book instead.

Q: How much dry shampoo is too much dry shampoo? @jourdanlinderman

A: Well, probably, I’d say, when your head starts to become a shellac-y helmet of hair and the only solution to making it better is the very thing you dreaded the most: the shower. LOL jk, there’s never enough.

Q: Is it too early to start decorating for Christmas in October? @covarrubias_jenny

A: Unpopular opinion: YES.

Q: Are leggings pants? @kayleelauren

A: OF COURSE THEY ARE AND FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE, CC: @LULULEMON I NEED MORE LEGGINGS, PLEASE SEND ME AT LEAST THREE FREE PAIRS POST-HASTE.

Q: How can I get my boyfriend to stop snoring so loudly? @cassyheathcote

A: Literally you have to poke him and say “ROLL TF OVER, BITCH,” and then he will stop. It works! It does!

Q: Are 4 cups of coffee a day too much? (Lol)anne_busato

A:Are you shaking yet? 

Q: Do I really wanna stop eating junk food?Frydafigueroa

A: I mean, honestly, probably not?

Q: If one can recognize that time is a man-made construct why do we feel pressure to adhere to the constraints it places on us? Daniella.ij

A: Dude. 

Q: How do I achieve and maintain a balance in life? Karina.renee

A: There's no such thing, that's just a lie they tell us!!

Q: Should I impulse buy a puppy?? (Again because this is an important question) 😭💗🐶 bykellyallen

A: I saw it both times and my answer twice-over is YES.

Q: How do I be the best version of myself that’s possible? Haliwagner

A: Sleep enough and be nice to your friends. But only the ones you actually like, ya know? 

Q: Why? Just why?? @taryn710

A: Life’s hardest question, ladies and gents. We’ve found it right here!!

Make sure to snag a copy of Tess's book here to get even more best damn answers to life's hardest questions!